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haimonster

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haimonster
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 14
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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haimonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

#20177960
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6874) - you deserved it (28068)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13928) - you deserved it (29427)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18033) - you deserved it (1711)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (4996)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32843) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

#16970335
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35446) - you deserved it (2449)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:11am - animals - by oopsies - United States

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

#12990617
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28775) - you deserved it (2198)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (5441)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML

#4277712
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80076) - you deserved it (3638)

On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16970) - you deserved it (62989)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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