Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

gxfu

Search for a member

gxfu
  • Town/Country : Cambridge, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 January 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3252
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

gxfu's last visitors

Freeze

gxfu's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gxfu's favorite FMLs

Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML

#121657
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15673) - you deserved it (21915)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by ouagadougou (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61826) - you deserved it (15468)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

#115148
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9142) - you deserved it (29106)

On 02/23/2009 at 4:58pm - animals - by frenchpop1960 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53268) - you deserved it (17135)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53268) - you deserved it (17135)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53268) - you deserved it (17135)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML

#112701
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (30899)

On 02/23/2009 at 10:32am - work - by Nic (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53594) - you deserved it (2298)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21502) - you deserved it (55973)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my angry ex girlfriend put Nair in my shampoo before moving out of my dorm. I'm now balding at 19. FML

#103083
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (6706)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my angry ex girlfriend put Nair in my shampoo before moving out of my dorm. I'm now balding at 19. FML

#103083
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (6706)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my angry ex girlfriend put Nair in my shampoo before moving out of my dorm. I'm now balding at 19. FML

#103083
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (6706)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my angry ex girlfriend put Nair in my shampoo before moving out of my dorm. I'm now balding at 19. FML

#103083
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (6706)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13893) - you deserved it (46870)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (651405) - you deserved it (12054)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: