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gxfu

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4357
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gxfu's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:11pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 1:34pm<b>ururu_sama</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 2:19am<b>bsw001</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 3:18pm<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 2:13pm<b>Bapes</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 6:35pm<b>marsbar15</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 10:40pm<b>elysemiller23</b> - the 03/18/2009 at 5:53pm

gxfu's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gxfu's favorite FMLs

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (36943)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

#221148
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65032) - you deserved it (3728)

On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

#213399
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (11528)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (41583)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (77021)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (77021)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

#196936
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50050) - you deserved it (39513)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (138496)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (138496)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML

#185319
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12777) - you deserved it (49077)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm - animals - by pacificbeach - United States (California)

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

#174723
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13802) - you deserved it (46444)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17296) - you deserved it (83515)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

#125156
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57612) - you deserved it (6908)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML

#121657
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19258) - you deserved it (27434)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by ouagadougou (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70245) - you deserved it (18374)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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