Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gxfu

Search for a member

gxfu
  • Town/Country : Cambridge, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 January 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 3836
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

gxfu's last visitors

Freeze

gxfu's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gxfu's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12221) - you deserved it (61329)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

#290842
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61696) - you deserved it (6561)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128599) - you deserved it (19250)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51356) - you deserved it (26907)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58456) - you deserved it (19381)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was woken up by the sound of power tools at 6:30am. I stuck my head out my window and yelled at them to shut up. They didn't stop. I walked out the front door to find the bastard. It was firemen. They were sawing down the door of my neighbour's burning house. FML

#280969
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (64871)

On 03/12/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (93917)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was running late for work so instead of walking the ten minutes to the office, I took a taxi. The driver took the opportunity to share the story of his first sexual experience with a man. In great detail. FML

#279644
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82160) - you deserved it (12815)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Noname - Philippines (Cebu City)

Today, I was running late for work so instead of walking the ten minutes to the office, I took a taxi. The driver took the opportunity to share the story of his first sexual experience with a man. In great detail. FML

#279644
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82160) - you deserved it (12815)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Noname - Philippines (Cebu City)

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

#273753
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65901) - you deserved it (8304)

On 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (New York)

Today, It took me over 3 hours to cut out little letters for an event I'm putting on. It took the wind less than a second to blow them all over campus. FML

#271855
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (13579)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by wotwzombie - United States (Maryland)

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

#271640
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10573) - you deserved it (123495)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

#268093
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57018) - you deserved it (14415)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by nickyniknaim93 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML

#268069
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46900) - you deserved it (7201)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71002) - you deserved it (3007)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: