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gxfu

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4218
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gxfu's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:11pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 1:34pm<b>ururu_sama</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 2:19am<b>bsw001</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 3:18pm<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 2:13pm<b>Bapes</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 6:35pm<b>marsbar15</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 10:40pm<b>elysemiller23</b> - the 03/18/2009 at 5:53pm

gxfu's FML badges

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gxfu's favorite FMLs

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98777) - you deserved it (23112)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

#940649
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43561) - you deserved it (17554)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:49pm - health - by EpicFailAtItsFinest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18339) - you deserved it (88097)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

#919205
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41801) - you deserved it (4952)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

#918397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72882) - you deserved it (18909)

On 04/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

#910687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31104) - you deserved it (58680)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38485) - you deserved it (129202)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly : while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

#569980
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19922) - you deserved it (53301)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by nessacadesa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

#566984
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66234) - you deserved it (9843)

On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84124) - you deserved it (31441)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
334 comments

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241789) - you deserved it (31688)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML

#526932
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95484) - you deserved it (7220)

On 03/22/2009 at 5:05am - intimacy - by trina (woman) - United States (New York)



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