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gurman27

Offline (the 02/28/2015 at 9:27am) | Search for a member

gurman27

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 January 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 65
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:41pm

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gurman27's favorite FMLs

Today boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43296) - you deserved it (5116)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned that mah new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (5762)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

TODAY I HAD SEX WITH MAH BOYFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT WAS ALSO THE FIRST TIME HE'D EVER HAD SEX. HOW COULD I TELL? HE CRIED ALL THE WAY THROUGH AN CALLED HIS PARENTS RIGHT AFTER. MEGA FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58250) - you deserved it (6346)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, mah car window got smashad, cuz somaona somahow confusad tha doll mah daughtar always laavas strappad into a carsaat for an actual kid. It's a cabbaga patch kid. big fat FML

#20867513
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46617) - you deserved it (3672)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after bieng constipated 4 a wile. I tougt I was alone, so I pretended I was giving brt to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next ting I know, I ear a knock at te door and my mom asking, "Sould I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (37414)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today I cummed home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52766) - you deserved it (8987)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

2day my dad yet again utterd the words "well, that escalatd quickly,"hile watching the news . He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day . I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already . He raisd an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalatd quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (51746)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, mah daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I Was T-boned At An Intersection. In An Ambulance. On The Way To The Hospital After Being T-boned At An Intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (1731)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was at te supermarket ceckout. I anded over ma items, wic included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. Te security guard standing beside te casier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; se's flowing from every ole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39378) - you deserved it (4078) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

TODAY I HAD TO PICK MY 22-YEAR-OLD SON UP FROM THE HOSPITAL AFTER HE GOT BLIND DRUNK GOT HIS HAND STUCK IN A PRINGLES CAN AND GOT THE BRIGHT IDEA OF STAGGERING TO THE LOCAL ER TO GET IT CUT OFF!!

#19438168
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (2531)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today My Boyfriend And I Were Getting Eated And E Started To Go Down On Me. In Excitement I Accidentally Drove A Knee Into Is Face. No Amount Of Fondling Is Diddlestick Made Im Forgive Me For Is Bloody Nose And Swollen Eye. FML

#19289453
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21795) - you deserved it (11921)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. mega FML

#1550190
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185246) - you deserved it (47337)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)



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