Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

guitar0501

Search for a member

guitar0501
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 448
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

guitar0501's last visitors

cr1mson_k1ss

guitar0501's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

guitar0501's favorite FMLs

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8854) - you deserved it (28244)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46380) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

#16687170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30501) - you deserved it (8868)

On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42477) - you deserved it (3197)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

#14106944
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12943) - you deserved it (21796)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

#13954362
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (3564)

On 11/23/2010 at 9:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

#13925706
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22157) - you deserved it (7793)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by rebeccacaissie - United States

Today, my Halloween costume finally showed up in the mail. Their consolation for a late delivery? A 50 cent discount. FML

#13756349
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23922) - you deserved it (2267)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

#13638786
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34040) - you deserved it (1960)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (8902)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I procrastinated on doing my on-line training for my new job. Thinking it would only take a few hours to complete, I started it in the early evening. It is now almost 4 am, and I start my new job in 3 hours. There is still about another hour and a half on on-line training left. FML

#13032045
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6437) - you deserved it (44594)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

#12949707
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (2996)

On 09/07/2010 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44023) - you deserved it (14244)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

#12283970
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7495) - you deserved it (47821)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:40am - misc - by MyFaceHurts (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (54058)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: