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groovy579
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  • Number of visits : 1719
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36786) - you deserved it (5225)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I told my boyfriend the dentist said my blood pressure was high. He was more interested in the fact that the dentist took my blood pressure than my blood pressure being high. FML

#21095607
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (8695)

On 03/24/2014 at 10:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38915) - you deserved it (7433)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28783) - you deserved it (15260)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML

#21094619
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (3052)

On 03/23/2014 at 8:44pm - misc - by hannahg - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

#21094011
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39450) - you deserved it (5001)

On 03/23/2014 at 1:31am - intimacy - by BustedEgo (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39775) - you deserved it (4500)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33041) - you deserved it (11061)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

#21093699
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40603) - you deserved it (5039)

On 03/22/2014 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36874) - you deserved it (9372)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

#21093234
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (3647)

On 03/22/2014 at 3:18am - misc - by Jen__ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my future mother-in-law. All went well; she complimented my dress, and I complimented her haircut. Then she and her son had a screaming match over how our children will be fat because of their mother. FML

#21093159
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36772) - you deserved it (3086)

On 03/22/2014 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

#21092926
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (3314)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by please stop singing!!!! - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

#21092916
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39027) - you deserved it (7022)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm - misc - by BMTH2296 (man) - United States

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41637) - you deserved it (5192)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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