Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

groovy579

Offline (the 09/22/2015 at 10:18pm) | Search for a member

groovy579

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 27955
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

groovy579's page activity

Visits<b>CLLopez</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:58pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:28pm<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:53pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:19pm<b>tamesenicole</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Mossygirl357</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:23am<b>ShadowlessSpear</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>OMG_ZOMBIES</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:36pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:29pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:28am<b>Blake9250</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:48am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:53pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:41pm<b>hduebdo</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:07pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:31pm<b>NicholausB</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:26pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 11:15am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:28am

groovy579's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of groovy579's badges

groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, I was with my girlfriend at lunch when a group of guys came over. They started calling her a whore and a bunch of other shit, so I cussed them out. Turns out she was not only cheating on me, but all the other guys too. FML

#21471177
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (2090)

On 09/21/2015 at 8:24pm - love - by Jgfenix - United States (Colorado)

Today, going through my late grandmother's papers, I found out that my grandfather had never been in the Nazi party. The reason he was not allowed to work as a teacher was that he had never passed his university exams. He found an invented Nazi past less shameful than academic failure. FML

#21470925
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22166) - you deserved it (1603)

On 09/21/2015 at 7:32am - misc - by notanazigrandchildafterall (woman) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, my scumfuck brother and his friends spent my baby sister's funeral snickering and telling dead baby jokes to one another. FML

#21470076
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41188) - you deserved it (1824)

On 09/18/2015 at 11:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

#21470063
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (2809)

On 09/18/2015 at 10:56pm - intimacy - by Lady Vulva of the Redwater (woman) -

Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML

#21469516
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (2272)

On 09/17/2015 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

#21467927
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31369) - you deserved it (2610)

On 09/13/2015 at 10:07am - work - by jobless (man) - United States

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

#21467902
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/13/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Queen LaQueefah (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

#21467423
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16242) - you deserved it (20786)

On 09/11/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by busmonster - United States (Virginia)

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

#21467226
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32063) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by EverettA - United States (Ohio)

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

#21466828
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (1737)

On 09/10/2015 at 8:32am - health - by bwoolf96 -

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML

#21466769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (2060)

On 09/10/2015 at 2:09am - intimacy - by smh - Canada

Today, I was robbed. I didn't know how the robber got in, as there was no clear signs of forced entry. I later found out that my psycho ex had written my address on the key I lent her when we were going out. And then purposely left it on a table in a café. FML

#21466767
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23650) - you deserved it (2461)

On 09/10/2015 at 1:56am - misc - by Luke - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML

#21466572
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9751) - you deserved it (22819)

On 09/09/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

#21466251
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (7156)

On 09/08/2015 at 8:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

#21465314
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27447) - you deserved it (7430)

On 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: