greentea1242

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greentea1242

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 814
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About greentea1242 : As you can probably tell by my profile picture I love video games. xD oh and THE GAME. you just lost.

greentea1242's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

greentea1242's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML

by Jade / 02/16/2011 at 12:55am / Health

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

by Goatbeard / 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

by datingamoron / 02/14/2011 at 2:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

by alice / 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML

by 2dumb2drive / 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

by shredded / 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm / United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames) / Miscellaneous

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

by inosehowthatgotthere / 02/09/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

by raebay / 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

by laurwitharawr / 10/06/2009 at 8:08am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

by Dinho / 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

by alf / 10/26/2008 at 10:34pm / Love