About greentea1242 : As you can probably tell by my profile picture I love video games. xD oh and THE GAME. you just lost.
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greentea1242's favorite FMLs
Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML
by bouncekitty / 02/20/2011 at 12:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 2:35am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
by justmyluck? / 02/17/2011 at 10:02pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML
by stuckinalift / 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by fmylife117 / 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm / United States / Intimacy
by Aled / 02/17/2011 at 11:33am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Animals
Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML
by stillchubby / 02/17/2011 at 6:12am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML
by shaunaaa / 02/17/2011 at 5:39am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML
Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
by CandyMachine / 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML
by fail / 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML
by clips / 02/16/2011 at 4:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML
by Tori / 02/16/2011 at 2:40am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…
- Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding… Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines… Today, I realized why my dad got mad when he found out that my girlfriend and I have sex. Turns out…