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gotrice

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gotrice
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  • Number of visits : 2392
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gotrice's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

#2959113
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48616) - you deserved it (3993)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

#2959113
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48616) - you deserved it (3993)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77528) - you deserved it (5313)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76992) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90634) - you deserved it (19050)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107566) - you deserved it (6416)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76458) - you deserved it (4912)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

#2713255
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84411) - you deserved it (5026)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

#2207384
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56480) - you deserved it (5663)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a little girl at work was coloring a picture that said "Best Dad" on it. Wanting to be nice I asked her if she was making it for her dad for father's day. She looked at me with a sad face and said, "I don't have a dad..." FML

#2199355
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49467) - you deserved it (5940)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by zbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50487) - you deserved it (17278)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

#1979778
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45499) - you deserved it (2930)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55579) - you deserved it (6603)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)



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