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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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gotrice

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gotrice
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1466
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gotrice's favorite FMLs

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (17270) - you deserved it (1482)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (17615) - you deserved it (4991)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

#8169866 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (2817)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:52pm - misc - by pandabear - United Kingdom (Magherafelt)

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

I agree, your life sucks (18481) - you deserved it (1756)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (2398)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (2905)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks (39234) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (2334)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

#5695966 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (11975) - you deserved it (24847)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (24716) - you deserved it (5341)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my dad bought me a new laptop for my birthday. That's because he wants to use my old laptop for work, which is more expensive, has better specs, runs faster, and has a wider screen than my new computer. I just got a downgraded laptop as my birthday present. FML

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (607)

I agree, your life sucks (87648) - you deserved it (18471)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (51005) - you deserved it (6900)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me starring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

#3912171 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (39777) - you deserved it (4299)

On 07/20/2009 at 7:31pm - misc - by fatgirl4 (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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