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gotrice

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gotrice
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1940
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gotrice's favorite FMLs

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18282) - you deserved it (1579)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18562) - you deserved it (5196)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

#8169866
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (2985)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:52pm - misc - by pandabear - United Kingdom (Magherafelt)

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

#7635822
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (1877)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

#7635822
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (1877)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33399) - you deserved it (2612)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39647) - you deserved it (3052)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41908) - you deserved it (3028)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (2493)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26827) - you deserved it (6523)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my dad bought me a new laptop for my birthday. That's because he wants to use my old laptop for work, which is more expensive, has better specs, runs faster, and has a wider screen than my new computer. I just got a downgraded laptop as my birthday present. FML

#5054381
141 comments

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999
511 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97380) - you deserved it (23465)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52054) - you deserved it (7053)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)



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