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goose12321

Offline (the 11/24/2014 at 4:28pm) | Search for a member

goose12321

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1113
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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goose12321's page activity

Visits<b>nch_12</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:14am<b>SirCactus</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:25pm<b>victorsaurus01</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:07am<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:46pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Liam3848</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 10:00am<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:25am<b>morgan_y</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:49am<b>lisslyi</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:30pm<b>angelofsage17</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:53pm<b>DewRemixx</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 12:03pm<b>Allusivness</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:09pm<b>swetha590</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 12:59pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 9:01am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:30pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Sports_guy3</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:07am

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goose12321's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (2244)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45059) - you deserved it (8464)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47496) - you deserved it (7225)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42877) - you deserved it (4444)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, we had a speaking assessment in Spanish class. When it was my turn, I yawned in the middle of a sentence, said "excuse me" and finished my sentence. She took points off because I hesitated and I spoke in English, not Spanish. FML

#21108988
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36426) - you deserved it (11554)

On 04/09/2014 at 10:33pm - misc - by macaroni17 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33841) - you deserved it (3253)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53387) - you deserved it (4515)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36652) - you deserved it (5948)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52784) - you deserved it (5546)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (4478)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

#21076785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39072) - you deserved it (3658)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43617) - you deserved it (6738)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47645) - you deserved it (14340)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48322) - you deserved it (3427)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)



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