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50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37160) - you deserved it (3858)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41890) - you deserved it (2777)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50944) - you deserved it (3427)
On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11009) - you deserved it (40193)
On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8178) - you deserved it (29287)
On 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33521) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27366) - you deserved it (1754)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30836) - you deserved it (2878)
On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8253) - you deserved it (24819)
On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19466) - you deserved it (2061)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31191)
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (6301)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8989) - you deserved it (12949)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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