Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

goolia

Search for a member

goolia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 179
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About goolia : What can I say, I'm awful at descriptions, so: I'm Julia, I'm 17 and Canadian. I swim competitively, love the outdoors (camping, hiking, canoeing etc, what can I say, I'm a walking Canadian stereotype) watch far too much TV et je peux parler français. I read FMLs when I should be sleeping.
98% of the time I feel exactly like that owl.

goolia's page activity

Visits<b>mcleod</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 7:41pm<b>reynechristine</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 3:45am<b>Callilah</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:00am<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 3:57am<b>naxeeb</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 4:31am<b>C3S4R_V4R3L4</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 3:37pm<b>SmuggletheBudgie</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:33pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 9:21am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:48am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:54am<b>Ambient25</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:44am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 10:37am<b>AGB10</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 7:42am<b>SydneyGrey</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 1:55am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:31am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 6:52pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 3:45pm<b>beautifulwack0</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 2:37pm

goolia's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of goolia's badges

goolia's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43442) - you deserved it (4051)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, a teenage girl bumped into me and my phone fell out of my hands, and over the Golden Gate Bridge. FML

#21081896
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54163) - you deserved it (5500)

On 03/09/2014 at 1:08am - misc - by Seriously? - United States (California)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58205) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59513) - you deserved it (4349)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44217) - you deserved it (19834)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36794) - you deserved it (9143)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44383) - you deserved it (3455)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

#20968767
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (5822)

On 11/24/2013 at 7:30am - misc - by TetrisMaster - Australia

Today, I got excited because I found Monsters University and The Croods online, neither of which I've seen. I'm 33, single, and it's Saturday night. FML

#20968315
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37390) - you deserved it (7372)

On 11/23/2013 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (2620)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by perdix??? (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55000) - you deserved it (64109)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55500) - you deserved it (5022)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62292) - you deserved it (4983)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: