About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18373) - you deserved it (7815)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (1708)
On 03/01/2010 at 11:59am - kids - by nd.11 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2 years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14387) - you deserved it (2690)
On 01/04/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by audied (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (1346)
On 12/20/2009 at 1:32am - work - by Van (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10971) - you deserved it (22757)
On 12/06/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by lolfayce (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9607) - you deserved it (38830)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9362) - you deserved it (18904)
On 10/16/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by Sbfreak510 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5054) - you deserved it (34534)
On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15659) - you deserved it (2138)
On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (17878) - you deserved it (33684)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30187) - you deserved it (2446)
On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15241) - you deserved it (39541)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50739) - you deserved it (1023)
On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32477) - you deserved it (5215)
On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11970) - you deserved it (25552)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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