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goldfishgod

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goldfishgod

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3125
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.

goldfishgod's page activity

Visits<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:35am<b>elkelk</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:13am<b>monstermatt001</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Hertyn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Karenezzy</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:23am<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:03pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:09pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Johnny_Boy_Jr</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:08am<b>hduebdo</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:36pm<b>Aliceexox</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:36pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:55am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:59pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:40pm<b>rainjar9</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 5:32pm<b>pinkydink10</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:50pm<b>mpfman</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:06pm<b>elbrowntown21</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 4:00pm

Liked!<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:35am

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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goldfishgod's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8919) - you deserved it (57942)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

#16844513
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38785) - you deserved it (16898)

On 06/25/2011 at 2:02am - love - by cek4uytp - United States (California)

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

#16837110
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25861) - you deserved it (6512)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41118) - you deserved it (6825)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37429) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

#15031615
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (15742)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by blaahh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32323) - you deserved it (2861)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42668) - you deserved it (7876)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (10645)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (9058)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

#13192437
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16439) - you deserved it (40665)

On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

#12334869
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29059) - you deserved it (4032)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17934) - you deserved it (56706)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23712) - you deserved it (10031)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML

#8746322
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24108) - you deserved it (2344)

On 03/01/2010 at 11:59am - kids - by nd.11 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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