About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (4101)
On 07/05/2011 at 4:27am - intimacy - by davidthegreat (man) - Japan
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29300) - you deserved it (1665)
On 07/02/2011 at 8:22pm - health - by blahdyblahblah33 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7045) - you deserved it (42747)
On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32759) - you deserved it (12854)
On 06/25/2011 at 2:02am - love - by cek4uytp - United States (California)
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (5217)
On 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (6283)
On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
I agree, your life sucks (31195) - you deserved it (2063)
On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21496) - you deserved it (11959)
On 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by blaahh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (2537)
On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37328) - you deserved it (7338)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (9533)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (7118)
On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (30112)
On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)
Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (3048)
On 08/05/2010 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15005) - you deserved it (44117)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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