About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10659) - you deserved it (40092)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24121) - you deserved it (4839)
On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -
Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (4002)
On 11/23/2011 at 10:16am - money - by jshibbz0993 - United States (Florida)
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (5268)
On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10845) - you deserved it (20958)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9778) - you deserved it (43114)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18222) - you deserved it (2318)
On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (3214)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31506) - you deserved it (3523)
On 11/09/2011 at 12:59am - love - by kdeeeceee - United States
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25371) - you deserved it (2572)
On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12728) - you deserved it (27022)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (5423) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16695) - you deserved it (2178)
On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17862) - you deserved it (2066)
On 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45774) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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