goldfishgod

Search for a member

goldfishgod

14Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5652
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.

goldfishgod's page activity

Visits<b>ryanmatthewtex</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 3:20am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:28am<b>royallymessedup</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:25am<b>IAm123</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 4:37pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 12:46pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 3:44am<b>four0seven</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 6:56pm<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 2:26pm<b>dommie919</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 9:07am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 12:11am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 11:43pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:27pm<b>KappaTrappa</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:02am<b>Eliteperson46</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:35pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 8:27am<b>rivimatt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 10:28am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 8:07pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 5:49am

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 9:44am<b>savagetitan</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:36am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:32pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 4:54am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:16am<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:19am<b>mrowl96</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:53pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 7:50pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:37pm<b>sdwsdwsdw</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:57pm<b>MagicPotatoe</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:48am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:06pm<b>monstermatt001</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:58am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:35am

goldfishgod's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of goldfishgod's badges

goldfishgod's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

by fingerhut / 03/03/2012 at 3:27am / United States (California) / Health

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

by sadgirl / 02/28/2012 at 10:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

by malloreigh / 02/28/2012 at 12:19am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

by Kevin / 02/13/2012 at 1:00am / United States / Love

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

by LogicalMolly / 12/13/2011 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

by flowerchildd2 / 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

by stinky / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

by Makala / 12/03/2011 at 3:15am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm / United States / Love

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

by G. Briones / 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm / Kids