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goldfishgod

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goldfishgod

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4218
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.

goldfishgod's page activity

Visits<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:21pm<b>jaydots</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 3:07pm<b>mondesno</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 3:00am<b>bosco556</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 11:07pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:07am<b>sdwsdwsdw</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:57am<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:35am<b>MagicPotatoe</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:48pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:30pm<b>TheSgLeader</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:03pm<b>jomar_19</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:28pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:06pm<b>BadWad</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 4:13pm<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:37am<b>colinabi</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:44pm<b>PITSB</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:21am<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:46pm

Fucked!<b>sdwsdwsdw</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:57pm<b>MagicPotatoe</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:48am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:06pm<b>monstermatt001</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:58am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:35am

goldfishgod's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of goldfishgod's badges

goldfishgod's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40217) - you deserved it (2982)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22507) - you deserved it (3367)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

#19181492
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18375) - you deserved it (3746)

On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (4127)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15883) - you deserved it (29328)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34634) - you deserved it (6495)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39732) - you deserved it (9920)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17815) - you deserved it (51661)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18174) - you deserved it (45721)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

#18496344
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (2664)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (42865)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

#18417096
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10000) - you deserved it (31422)

On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46076) - you deserved it (3478)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

#18342381
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13611) - you deserved it (47082)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32654) - you deserved it (6623)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -



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