About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (1380)
On 03/07/2012 at 11:25am - misc - by whatawaste - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31731) - you deserved it (2043)
On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15475) - you deserved it (2223)
On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)
Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13292) - you deserved it (2665)
On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (2785)
On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12826) - you deserved it (24578)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (4546)
On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31105) - you deserved it (7483)
On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14032) - you deserved it (44571)
On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14227) - you deserved it (31535)
On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (1837)
On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7076) - you deserved it (29330)
On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7942) - you deserved it (21780)
On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10655) - you deserved it (40088)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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