About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16079) - you deserved it (1694)
On 03/26/2012 at 8:28pm - animals - by damselfly (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19530) - you deserved it (2529)
On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (3267)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (1329)
On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6899) - you deserved it (38200)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19402) - you deserved it (4204)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm - health - by braceface - United States
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (1897)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16499) - you deserved it (2771)
On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18949) - you deserved it (2523)
On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16270) - you deserved it (2540)
On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States
I agree, your life sucks (6132) - you deserved it (16627)
On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (2463)
On 03/11/2012 at 8:38am - work - by aprilmay91 - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17856) - you deserved it (38110)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16082) - you deserved it (3016)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States
Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (1598)
On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
