goldfishgod

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goldfishgod

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4977
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.

goldfishgod's page activity

Visits<b>walker9879</b> - yesterday at 8:27am<b>rivimatt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 10:28am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 8:07pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 5:49am<b>Leanne798</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:17am<b>molloy2</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:38am<b>ballsacks33</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 6:29pm<b>sarika</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:30pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:36am<b>Niz_DD</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:15pm<b>metallicsounds</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 1:26pm<b>Eggers5</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 8:52pm<b>SourPatchTeen</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 11:50pm<b>savagetitan</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 9:36pm<b>GrimaSlayer</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 5:54pm<b>jill97</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 8:20am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 5:56pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:41pm

Fucked!<b>savagetitan</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:36am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:32pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 4:54am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:16am<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:19am<b>mrowl96</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:53pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 7:50pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:37pm<b>sdwsdwsdw</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:57pm<b>MagicPotatoe</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:48am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:06pm<b>monstermatt001</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:58am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:35am

goldfishgod's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of goldfishgod's badges

goldfishgod's favorite FMLs

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML

by Blueberry / 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

by Jenna / 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

by whattheheck / 06/04/2012 at 12:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Kids

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

by Getmeout / 05/31/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

by liquid_sasquatch / 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 9:09am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous