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goldfishgod

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goldfishgod

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3044
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.

goldfishgod's page activity

Visits<b>monstermatt001</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Hertyn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Karenezzy</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:23am<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:03pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:09pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Johnny_Boy_Jr</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:08am<b>hduebdo</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:36pm<b>Aliceexox</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:36pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:55am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:59pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:40pm<b>rainjar9</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 5:32pm<b>pinkydink10</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:50pm<b>mpfman</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:06pm<b>elbrowntown21</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 4:00pm<b>WorldWarAres</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:02am<b>miketofte</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 5:04pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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goldfishgod's favorite FMLs

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36928) - you deserved it (5754)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14399) - you deserved it (35796)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39915) - you deserved it (4702)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26867) - you deserved it (3054)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (2797)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (3179)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

#20526851
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9934) - you deserved it (46004)

On 03/01/2013 at 11:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (16709)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25063) - you deserved it (5767)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (2898)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33604) - you deserved it (4067)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25187) - you deserved it (7535)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (4066)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (2535)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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