About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17215) - you deserved it (2920)
On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26499) - you deserved it (1821)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18233) - you deserved it (1367)
On 10/02/2012 at 2:48pm - misc - by peterpeterpumpkineater (man) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15426) - you deserved it (1654)
On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15091) - you deserved it (1303)
On 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Blueberry (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18034) - you deserved it (2085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (4988)
On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (22879)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (2002)
On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9149) - you deserved it (17083)
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24364) - you deserved it (3291)
On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (2157)
On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (1895)
On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (3782)
On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18871) - you deserved it (1868)
On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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