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goldfishgod

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goldfishgod

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3004
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About goldfishgod : Fueled exclusively by beer and horror films.

goldfishgod's page activity

Visits<b>monstermatt001</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 7:24pm<b>Karenezzy</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:23am<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:03pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:09pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Johnny_Boy_Jr</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:08am<b>hduebdo</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:36pm<b>Aliceexox</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:36pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:55am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:59pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:40pm<b>rainjar9</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 5:32pm<b>pinkydink10</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:50pm<b>mpfman</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:06pm<b>elbrowntown21</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 4:00pm<b>WorldWarAres</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:02am<b>miketofte</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 5:04pm<b>wizardcorn04</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:02pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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goldfishgod's favorite FMLs

Today, my colleagues and I found out that our boss has been taking business advice from an astrologer as well as a soothsayer. FML

#20886196
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (2402)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:34am - work - by CrystalsDontWork - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55552) - you deserved it (23167)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40724) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54705) - you deserved it (4571)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "ew". FML

#20832005
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42722) - you deserved it (4087)

On 08/11/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by ew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44203) - you deserved it (32345) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49128) - you deserved it (6446)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47495) - you deserved it (3151)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37242) - you deserved it (67700)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49314) - you deserved it (4938)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (12561)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (3271)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML

#20682342
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36448) - you deserved it (4803)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58503) - you deserved it (7649)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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