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gofigure123's FML badges
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gofigure123's favorite FMLs
by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
by mel / 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
by dpap / 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by locksmack / 06/14/2009 at 8:46am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…