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gidgreen

Offline (the 09/19/2014 at 8:46am) | Search for a member

gidgreen

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  • Number of visits : 61
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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gidgreen's page activity

Visits<b>Mermhun</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 6:48am

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gidgreen's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41293) - you deserved it (14899)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46559) - you deserved it (3794)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35687) - you deserved it (2907)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64313) - you deserved it (4103)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (5688)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40451) - you deserved it (8315) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (12307)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

#21228437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35350) - you deserved it (3733)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50083) - you deserved it (11745)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46188) - you deserved it (3763)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40756) - you deserved it (3481)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55080) - you deserved it (11314)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56970) - you deserved it (7962)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56852) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)



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