About gfonz : Just talk to me if you wanna know anything.
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gfonz's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by mannnnn2717 / 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
by drugged_on_arrival / 09/10/2009 at 6:55am / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML
by leahbeuhh / 09/05/2009 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love
by Ariel / 06/02/2009 at 8:19am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy
by crazystuff23 / 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by skipper / 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by stellarshaun / 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked… Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching… Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring…