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About gfonz : Just talk to me if you wanna know anything.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (2256)
On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet. With elves. Starring her as the perfect and godlike lead character. I can't get out of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14274) - you deserved it (3203)
On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16784) - you deserved it (3137)
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (2542)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8427) - you deserved it (1346)
On 09/01/2011 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20282) - you deserved it (1097)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17896) - you deserved it (3701)
On 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm - love - by faceless_sailor8 - United States
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20014) - you deserved it (1710)
On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States
Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (1793)
On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (2725)
On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (2194)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13760) - you deserved it (34807)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (3233)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20822) - you deserved it (2458)
On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20833) - you deserved it (2198)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
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