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gelt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 29738
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gelt's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 3:04am<b>ivdrscg</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 5:15pm<b>Reena03</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 1:27pm<b>somaturee</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 3:40am<b>lexxiii</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 5:00pm<b>tin_can_000</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 7:54pm<b>MussoMalfunction</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 2:49pm<b>sawdy</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 9:26pm<b>NobodysLover</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 2:52pm<b>Nuts_the_Wiseguy</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 9:56pm<b>nuclear</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 1:28am<b>Jerhel</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 3:43am<b>LeedsFML</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 3:49pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 10:29am<b>chris_e81</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 7:14pm<b>ilikeboys</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 7:57pm<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 11:45pm

gelt's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gelt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

#1449885
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63040) - you deserved it (40849)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23501) - you deserved it (119408)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

#1035901
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78192) - you deserved it (6173)

On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85513) - you deserved it (8440)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

#923154
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124349) - you deserved it (6918)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51909) - you deserved it (3268)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML

#897353
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81030) - you deserved it (3296)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)



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