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gelt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 29741
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gelt's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 3:04am<b>ivdrscg</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 5:15pm<b>Reena03</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 1:27pm<b>somaturee</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 3:40am<b>lexxiii</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 5:00pm<b>tin_can_000</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 7:54pm<b>MussoMalfunction</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 2:49pm<b>sawdy</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 9:26pm<b>NobodysLover</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 2:52pm<b>Nuts_the_Wiseguy</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 9:56pm<b>nuclear</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 1:28am<b>Jerhel</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 3:43am<b>LeedsFML</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 3:49pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 10:29am<b>chris_e81</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 7:14pm<b>ilikeboys</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 7:57pm<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 11:45pm

gelt's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gelt's favorite FMLs

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

#5210731
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25373) - you deserved it (86718)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49492) - you deserved it (6424)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62972) - you deserved it (5101)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42523) - you deserved it (7249)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

#3681487
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50992) - you deserved it (2253)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59192) - you deserved it (7111)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

#3375297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56084) - you deserved it (4221)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm - kids - by unluckycounsellor (woman) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13418) - you deserved it (56499)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taken a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through that bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML

#2560724
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10058) - you deserved it (53228)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Unimpressed (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (140951)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

#1767727
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15842) - you deserved it (236815)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74798) - you deserved it (3895)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

#1475511
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81498) - you deserved it (8004)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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