gawdcomplex

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Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 6:52pm)

gawdcomplex

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3962
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gawdcomplex's page activity

Visits<b>gawdcompl3x</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 5:47pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 6:39pm<b>sharpblade123</b> - the 10/30/2011 at 11:32am

gawdcomplex's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

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Judgmental

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gawdcomplex's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

by Username / 08/31/2011 at 3:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

by dev / 08/28/2011 at 2:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 12:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

by Kendal / 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

by collball22 / 08/22/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

by datingmrpicky / 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

by Bobby ray slice / 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, over a year on from my parents telling me my dog had died, I went to the shelter to volunteer, and saw my old dog. FML

by Dogless / 08/21/2011 at 1:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML

by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho / 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

by fuck / 08/14/2011 at 3:31pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

by NotSoAnon / 08/13/2011 at 11:31am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals