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Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18801) - you deserved it (6549)
On 01/06/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11755) - you deserved it (44633)
On 01/05/2012 at 2:35pm - love - by louise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (7192)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:11am - intimacy - by ikungfuyou (man) - United States
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11486) - you deserved it (26212)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (2434)
On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23800) - you deserved it (1754)
On 12/19/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (1693)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5574) - you deserved it (25792)
On 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm - work - by sharon (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20412) - you deserved it (1419)
On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (66089)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you deserved it (52577)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22101) - you deserved it (2614)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20812) - you deserved it (6604)
On 12/05/2011 at 1:13am - health - by lol (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36947) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4875) - you deserved it (35267)
On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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