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Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3722) - you deserved it (22954)
On 08/05/2012 at 4:21pm - misc - by icybrent94 (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15072) - you deserved it (4373)
On 08/04/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by ooops (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12732) - you deserved it (3651)
On 08/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by MAC. - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6872) - you deserved it (14955)
On 07/30/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by fmlgrl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6694) - you deserved it (22359)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18691) - you deserved it (1408)
On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (22895)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (14951)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15436) - you deserved it (2753)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm - love - by Jacqueline (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13105) - you deserved it (1389)
On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -
Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14351) - you deserved it (4408)
On 06/28/2012 at 1:20am - animals - by lala8940 - United States
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18651) - you deserved it (3828)
On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16185) - you deserved it (6526)
On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21997) - you deserved it (1105)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm - misc - by somebody - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (2309) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Friday 24 May 2013
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