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Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37611) - you deserved it (4151) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23563) - you deserved it (3236)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18569) - you deserved it (5354)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)
Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (2280)
On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (32633) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (2843)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (4937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6891) - you deserved it (13323)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:56am - misc - by for_fs_sake (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11409) - you deserved it (47665)
On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (3913)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12535) - you deserved it (1010)
On 08/29/2012 at 3:19pm - work - by Pooping - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22183) - you deserved it (4124)
On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17784) - you deserved it (1010)
On 08/17/2012 at 7:26am - animals - by byegeorge (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16103) - you deserved it (2869)
On 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by shira512 (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4928) - you deserved it (40304)
On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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