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gatorgurl2996's favorite FMLs
by Tequila / 06/20/2011 at 12:12pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health
Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML
by stuckinalift / 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 10:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Transportation
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2010 at 7:44pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love
by corleon198425 / 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm / United States / Health
by ShayisPay101 / 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML
by Anonymous / 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous
by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
by sandwichsex / 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML
by whyme_ss / 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, I finally gave my mum an expensive designer dress I spent months saving to buy for her as…