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gatorgurl2996

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gatorgurl2996
  • Town/Country : Jacksonville, FL, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 342
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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I agree, their lives suck

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gatorgurl2996's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17223) - you deserved it (4888)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

#20444015
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15468) - you deserved it (2864)

On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16115) - you deserved it (9836)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

#20067208
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13599) - you deserved it (1703)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

#20060271
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17587) - you deserved it (1033)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:45am - work - by Heavy D - United States

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13814) - you deserved it (37120)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (2278)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16108) - you deserved it (23728)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10280) - you deserved it (37368)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

#19939674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22307) - you deserved it (1702)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:51am - work - by kerensa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are" and laughed hysterically. FML

#19848525
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (2370)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by crippy - United States



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