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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32733) - you deserved it (4922)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40656) - you deserved it (2711)
On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark
Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (3950)
On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (2070)
On 04/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by CrazyBitch - United States (California)
Today, my washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked my neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I came home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26576) - you deserved it (3172)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Jack -
Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29398) - you deserved it (7512)
On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (1976)
On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40401) - you deserved it (3825)
On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (1366)
On 04/02/2013 at 9:34am - work - by ak_6694 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22637) - you deserved it (3100)
On 04/01/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by colorguard13 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52720) - you deserved it (4236)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (2434)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (5004)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39940) - you deserved it (2790)
On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States
Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29552) - you deserved it (1607)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Friday 24 May 2013
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