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gatorgurl2996's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
by babs / 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML
by Marmarfarfar / 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids
by JRLJLS / 04/15/2013 at 5:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
by great idea / 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health
Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML
by MrKento / 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm / Honduras (Francisco Morazan) / Intimacy
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
by Anon / 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by Zxz / 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health
- Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean… Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the… Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of…