gatorgurl2996

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gatorgurl2996

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 706
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gatorgurl2996's page activity

Visits<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:01am<b>UndyingKarma</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:13pm<b>Poppy8127</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:03pm<b>olpally</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 12:47am<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 4:34pm

Fucked!<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:01am

gatorgurl2996's FML badges

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gatorgurl2996's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

by no boobies / 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

by pool party / 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

by fuck you retail / 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

by Cristoforo / 05/25/2013 at 4:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2013 at 12:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

by Mylifesucks / 05/23/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

by soreloser / 05/20/2013 at 2:32am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

by KatielSilver / 05/20/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

by Devin / 05/19/2013 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

by fuckingjesusgran / 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm / Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego) / Transportation