garebear13

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garebear13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1424
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About garebear13 : Blah blah blah

garebear13's page activity

Visits<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:38am<b>yellow33</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 6:42pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 6:03pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:05pm<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:16pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:00pm<b>loidnerdy101</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:56pm<b>specialist8404</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 9:16am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 9:26am<b>life_sucksbro</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:30pm<b>1Michael1</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:45pm<b>myusernametaken</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 10:32pm<b>Lingfucius</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 3:30pm<b>beardownarizona</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 4:44pm<b>huntchinn11</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 6:24pm<b>PHATERTL</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 12:15am<b>scfann11</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 8:07pm

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garebear13's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

by boytoy / 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

by slamo / 08/06/2009 at 6:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

by bsaucedo / 07/28/2009 at 1:00am / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

by nobleach / 07/02/2009 at 10:05am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2009 at 8:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

by Tootsy_Roll_Pop / 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

by Kelavmeister / 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy