Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

garebear13

Search for a member

garebear13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 720
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About garebear13 : Blah blah blah

garebear13's page activity

Visits<b>loidnerdy101</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:56pm<b>specialist8404</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 9:16am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 9:26am<b>life_sucksbro</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:30pm<b>1Michael1</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:45pm<b>myusernametaken</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 10:32pm<b>Lingfucius</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 3:30pm<b>beardownarizona</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 4:44pm<b>huntchinn11</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 6:24pm<b>PHATERTL</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 12:15am<b>scfann11</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 8:07pm

garebear13's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of garebear13's badges

garebear13's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you deserved it (8360)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30465) - you deserved it (3296)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6948) - you deserved it (31210)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21200) - you deserved it (4317)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

#20030745
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (4594)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40235) - you deserved it (2709)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML

#20028660
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17143) - you deserved it (5464)

On 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (2092)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (1805)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9394) - you deserved it (33161)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

#19942107
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16721) - you deserved it (5278)

On 07/15/2012 at 5:52pm - health - by Tori (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18561) - you deserved it (2674)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (4844)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19042) - you deserved it (3652)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: