garebear13

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garebear13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1748
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About garebear13 : Blah blah blah

garebear13's page activity

Visits<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:38am<b>yellow33</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 6:42pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 6:03pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:05pm<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:16pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:00pm<b>loidnerdy101</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:56pm<b>specialist8404</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 9:16am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 9:26am<b>life_sucksbro</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:30pm<b>1Michael1</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:45pm<b>myusernametaken</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 10:32pm<b>Lingfucius</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 3:30pm<b>beardownarizona</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 4:44pm<b>huntchinn11</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 6:24pm<b>PHATERTL</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 12:15am<b>scfann11</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 8:07pm

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garebear13's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

by Cold / 12/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

by steve / 09/05/2012 at 4:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm / United States / Love

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

by what the FUCK / 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

by Tori / 07/15/2012 at 5:52pm / Australia / Health

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

by a4rk / 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm / Malaysia (Sarawak) / Work