gardenwhipped3

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Offline (the 02/11/2015 at 7:52am)

gardenwhipped3

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1411
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gardenwhipped3's page activity

Visits<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:06am<b>AngelicTide</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 2:47am<b>wachunga</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 6:27pm<b>Yodaevil</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 2:25pm

gardenwhipped3's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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gardenwhipped3's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

by fionnathehuman / 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm / United States / Kids

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

by ScaryBears / 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

by kira / 10/02/2012 at 6:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

by Pissed / 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

by hannah / 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm / New Zealand (Marlborough) / Love

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

by JB / 09/09/2012 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

by badwolf / 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm / United States / Animals

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

by Loserbot / 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy