About galt : Fuck you all.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16503) - you deserved it (10344)
On 03/11/2013 at 4:37am - kids - by MissShei (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35587) - you deserved it (3338)
On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States
Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (1660)
On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, a man I once worked with passed away. He was a lovely, caring, and inspirational person whom I looked up to. My husband's form of consolation? "Old people die. Get over it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (2590)
On 03/10/2013 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34277) - you deserved it (3188)
On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)
Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36089) - you deserved it (7332)
On 03/10/2013 at 9:40am - intimacy - by cremyfrozentreat - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (1713)
On 03/10/2013 at 5:09am - love - by Nogood - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25786) - you deserved it (5956)
On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13934) - you deserved it (30732)
On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (2518)
On 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by depressed - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (3667)
On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29086) - you deserved it (6224)
On 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31131) - you deserved it (1859)
Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27728) - you deserved it (2271)
On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States
Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (2325)
On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
