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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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g7190g92

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g7190g92
  • Town/Country : The (530), CA, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 October 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 569
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

#12077733 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (7322) - you deserved it (22120)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

#7130565 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (17886) - you deserved it (4070)

On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

#7052251 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (4314) - you deserved it (22829)

On 12/31/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by ParanoidFreak (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (4615) - you deserved it (16495)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (60047) - you deserved it (2766)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

#6963425 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (4827) - you deserved it (45177)

On 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

#6721732 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (22903) - you deserved it (1168)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

#6624561 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (9601) - you deserved it (22118)

On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML

#6616832 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (1816)

On 12/05/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I dropped my camera down 4 flights of circular stairs from the top of a lighthouse. Everything worked, it just had a few dents. Then, as I went to put it in my pocket, I missed. It fell 3 feet and hit the floor. Now it won't turn on. FML

#6603639 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (19611) - you deserved it (10697)

On 12/04/2009 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (2054)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you deserved it (1583)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

#6356317 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (4980) - you deserved it (43783)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Adam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

#5870216 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (2365)

On 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by paris78 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (32013) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version