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fuzzycabbage

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fuzzycabbage
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  • Number of visits : 389
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fuzzycabbage's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56421) - you deserved it (6414)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62063) - you deserved it (18231)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

#699285
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79203) - you deserved it (3869)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:16am - work - by matte (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131500) - you deserved it (35675)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

#308282
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58628) - you deserved it (4145)

On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16397) - you deserved it (80980)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23976) - you deserved it (49709)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (7369)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my first (and only true) date ended with the girl saying "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian". FML

#763
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (1676)

On 12/30/2008 at 10:21pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (2241)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version



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