Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fuzzycabbage

Search for a member

fuzzycabbage

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 429
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fuzzycabbage's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of fuzzycabbage's badges

fuzzycabbage's favorite FMLs

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26497) - you deserved it (5127)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26735) - you deserved it (5237)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

#8480132
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6042) - you deserved it (39861)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

#7490494
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65265) - you deserved it (4228)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

#7275628
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35084) - you deserved it (5138)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

#7152531
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18360) - you deserved it (5231)

On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42980) - you deserved it (3353)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

#6789121
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33029) - you deserved it (5342)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32208) - you deserved it (4013)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has more armpit hair than me. FML

#6732591
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30901) - you deserved it (5428)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by manutdlol - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17006) - you deserved it (3809)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

#6683091
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45530) - you deserved it (2449)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35357) - you deserved it (5274)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42207) - you deserved it (3250)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: