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fuzzycabbage

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fuzzycabbage

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  • Number of visits : 479
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fuzzycabbage's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35828) - you deserved it (5065)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55438) - you deserved it (9858)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41709) - you deserved it (8166)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20518) - you deserved it (4260)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19336) - you deserved it (3478)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42603) - you deserved it (3826)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

#18764509
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25897) - you deserved it (6156)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22420) - you deserved it (2322)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25966) - you deserved it (4920)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

#18561778
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16963) - you deserved it (23067)

On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

#18553944
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26015) - you deserved it (5443)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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