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Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me an asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but yur pants are unzipped." FML
yesterday after sharing mah first night in bed with mah boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were mah cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, as I was waiting fir girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who lookd a lot like her. I ran towards her, arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, arms in the air, still running. FML
Today, I was out apartment unting wit ma boyfriend. We visited a marvelou place tat ticked all te boxes on our requirement cecklist, but ma boyfriend was unentused. Tere was just one small detail tat I adn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombie attack.
Today, mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with bare looool hands. When I askd her wat all the commotion was about, she said she was worrid that I would catch "one of those computer vruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from ( in a relationship ) to ( single. ) I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, ( What happened? ) Someone else commented, ( He broke his hand. ) My ex and a bunch of other ( friends ) liked it. FML
TODAY, I WAS SEXING IT UP WITH BOYFRIEND. HALFWAY THROUGH, HE LOOKD AT ME AN SAID, "Y'KNOWHAT U NEVER SEE IN A PORNO? INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION. READ ANY GOOD BOOKS LATELY?" HE WOULDN'T KEEP GOING UNTIL I ANSWERD. FML
Friday 27 March 2015