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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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furly09's page activity

Visits<b>frankmz</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 1:44pm<b>jslaton91</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 12:10pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:21pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Amaury56</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 5:01pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:35am<b>50_Shades_Of_Gay</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 11:58am<b>caseylou</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:47am<b>DGSutcliff</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:36pm<b>TheSlothster</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:35pm<b>the_wakeboarder</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 8:18pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:28pm<b>rayray7066</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:48pm<b>punisher316</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 6:53pm<b>alexissage</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:26pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:36am

Fucked!<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 2:31pm

furly09's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of furly09's badges

furly09's favorite FMLs

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

by sciencenat / 01/14/2016 at 1:36am / Work

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2015 at 11:09am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was grooming one of my horses, when she stepped on my foot. I yelled and frantically tried to push her away. She turned her head toward me and shifted the rest of her weight onto my foot. I'm in the hospital now. FML

by sophiilou / 10/24/2015 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

by pansypup / 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

by ShroomSalad / 08/17/2015 at 6:11pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

by khaoslife / 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

by teecrafter2038 / 03/12/2015 at 10:07am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

by wife / 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous