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funteary

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Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:36pm

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yastarday I had a data with this raally cuta guy. Ha invitad ma ovar to maka dinnar at his placa. Evantually wa and up in his badroom to hava sax. Ha pulls down my pantias an says ( You naad to shava that shit. ) big fat FML

#2734034
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51875) - you deserved it (65309)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, I MET A HOT GUY AT THE CLUB. WE DANCD AN HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME, SO I INVITD HIM HOME WITH ME 4 THE NIGHT. THE NEXT MORNING, I AWOKE TO THE SOUND OF WAT I THOUGHT TO BE RUNNING WATER. I LOOKD UP TO FINE HIM, NAKD AN PISSING INTO MAH AIR CONDITIONER UNIT. FML

#2682144
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50045) - you deserved it (24063)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

2DAY I WAS AT A CLUB WIT A FRIEND!! A CUTE GUY KEPT SMILING AND LOOKING OVER AT ME!! HE LEFT IS SEAT AND WENT TO TE BAR AND BROUGT BACK TWO DRINKS!! HE WAVED ME OVER AND TEN SAID, "CAN YOU TELL YOUR OT FRIEND TAT I BOUGT ER A DRINK?" FML

#2634105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56688) - you deserved it (4612)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by KL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... there was a parent bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad enterd... and endd up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends... teachers... other parents... and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60254) - you deserved it (3550)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today , I had a pretty big erectionhile getting checked out at the airport . The security guard was scanning mah potentially "dangerous" erection 4 at least one long minute in front of mah wife , kids , an 20 people behind me . FML

#2464637
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48601) - you deserved it (11908)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today... was mah wedding night. We had decidd to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressd and smild at mah new wife... she burst into tears and crid... "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
539 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218927) - you deserved it (23808)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, grlfriend of 2 years an I decided to have sex fir the frst time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To looool make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. mega FML

#2182938
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83745) - you deserved it (10254)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Yesterday , I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the looool piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening , and said (as we walked past a car full of men) , "Well of course it hurts when u put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70312) - you deserved it (7956)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

TODAY..!! MAH PARENTS HOSTD A PARTY AT OUR HOUSE!! AFTER SEIENG ONE OF THE EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL GUESTS..!! I WENT TO MASTER BAIT IN MAH ROOM!! WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO FINISH..!! MAH BEDROOM DOOR OPEND SUDDENLY!! IT WAS MAH MOM SHOWING AROUND 10 PARTY GUESTS THAT OUR DOG CAN OPEN DOORS!! MEGA FML

#1791192
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23532) - you deserved it (79529)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey fir my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked wat it was for . My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together . My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe u should get one fir yur daughter." mega FML

#1690188
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99457) - you deserved it (22801)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was about to loose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 yeres, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm making this up. FML

#1604682
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (277785) - you deserved it (17724)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY , I WAS FINGERING MY GRLFRIEND. WHEN SUDDENLY SHE STARTED CRYING AT THE PEAK OF HER ORGASM , WHEN I ASKED WAT WAS WRONG , SHE REPLIED. ( I-I-I MISS HIM! ) SHE WAS CRYING ABOUT HER EX BOYFRIEND. WHILE I WAS INSIDE HER. FML

#1453860
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (153586) - you deserved it (12404)

On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went up to a secludd mountain mah boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phond mah boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone startd playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (212650) - you deserved it (11293)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I Was Having Sex With Mah Girlfriend. She Startd Panting Harder And Going, "AH, AH, AH..." And I Thought She Was About To Come. Next Thing I Know, There's Snot Splatterd All Over Mah Face And Neck. Turns Out It Was A Sneeze. Mega FML

#1259503
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71253) - you deserved it (8245)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT TAT I'M PREGNANT. MY USBAND AN I AVE BEEN TRYING TO AVE A BABBY 4 A WILE, AN I WAS VERY EXCITED TO TELL IM TE NEWS. WEN I OPENED IS OFFICE PLANNING TO SURPRISE IM WIT TE NEWS, I SAW IM MAKING OUT WIT A MAN. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (497982) - you deserved it (31014)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)



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