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funny19

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  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (18 years)
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  • Number of visits : 1524
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know..." and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

#18864868
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24933) - you deserved it (1887)

On 01/20/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by shellski (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38080) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34997) - you deserved it (5995)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34997) - you deserved it (5995)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29745) - you deserved it (22165)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (5975)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (5975)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32696) - you deserved it (9205)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32696) - you deserved it (9205)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32696) - you deserved it (9205)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

#17880683
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26990) - you deserved it (10571)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (9266)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

#17438082
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (4948)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

#17438082
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (4948)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (14360)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)



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