This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64763) - you deserved it (5046)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (74479)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44876) - you deserved it (3063)
On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14959) - you deserved it (33982)
On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59555) - you deserved it (12172)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36829) - you deserved it (998)
On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40141) - you deserved it (1742)
On 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40141) - you deserved it (1742)
On 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49659) - you deserved it (13471)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you deserved it (7046)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you deserved it (7046)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you deserved it (7046)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you deserved it (7046)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you deserved it (7046)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45829) - you deserved it (11147)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
