Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fuck_this_shit_5

Search for a member

fuck_this_shit_5

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3794
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fuck_this_shit_5's page activity

Visits<b>crush451</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 8:41pm<b>iHazTheMuffinz</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:38pm<b>volleygirl16</b> - the 12/16/2011 at 10:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:40pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:52am<b>Daileass</b> - the 02/04/2011 at 9:25am<b>LilAfo</b> - the 10/25/2010 at 4:42pm<b>BlackHawk214</b> - the 10/23/2010 at 7:08pm<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 10/21/2010 at 2:02pm<b>jramos0070</b> - the 10/03/2010 at 2:08pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 09/28/2010 at 3:57pm<b>teoriginalG</b> - the 09/23/2010 at 1:39pm<b>pureplastic90210</b> - the 09/22/2010 at 9:26pm<b>yankeeskid</b> - the 09/19/2010 at 7:23pm<b>Jovanah</b> - the 09/18/2010 at 11:19pm<b>dirtynsweet</b> - the 09/18/2010 at 10:35pm<b>Football_5tar_JR</b> - the 09/16/2010 at 2:46pm<b>Sexy_beast22</b> - the 09/15/2010 at 4:15pm

fuck_this_shit_5's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fuck_this_shit_5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML

#4206061
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51953) - you deserved it (4147)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML

#4204058
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18336) - you deserved it (44186)

On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67181) - you deserved it (15371)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42527) - you deserved it (8585)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML

#4161962
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48453) - you deserved it (2516)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML

#4161962
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48453) - you deserved it (2516)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57509) - you deserved it (17245)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (9347)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (9347)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (9347)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (9347)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (9347)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54288) - you deserved it (14622)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72335) - you deserved it (4471)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (95669)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: